Broken Dreams: Giving Up to Gain All

“I never thought that God would let me end up like this.”

That’s what I said to my husband after our road of hope came to its unexpected end. A no way out, no way back, forever kind of end.

For me, it was like driving into a concrete wall, in slow motion. It took a while to dawn on me that this was the end of our dream.

The eventual realization left me in shock. Crushed. Paralyzed. Disoriented. Looking for God, and not seeing Him.

My husband held me—but I still felt so alone.

After the effects of the initial impact, my heart morphed into a strange sort of acceptance. It started out angry, then became bitter. Then it went numb.

Have you ever had your heart go numb?

It gives up dreaming. It stops hoping and believing. And even the strongest love within is muffled by fuzzy, cozy, protective numbness.

I had given up—the only way I knew how. My heart burrowed down for several years. I just needed some down time.

Some me time—some pity me time.

But something inside just wouldn’t go away.

It was alive, and full of energy. It nagged and annoyed every single day. It demanded to be set free. It was very small—the smallest, in fact—yet strong.

To realize that it had not left was both a relief, and terrifying.

Because when you put your heart on the line and believe God with all of your being for something that you have dreamed about your entire life—and you end up getting nothing—faith hurts, you know?

I never knew faith could hurt like that. But I just couldn’t make it go away.

Neither could Joseph.

Joseph, in the book of Genesis—this guy had some dreams. Literal dreams, that became heart-dreams. They were easy for him to believe in, because they came from God Himself.

They spoke of divine promise, and revealed divine purpose. They were so outlandish with God’s favor, that his brothers burned with jealousy.

Joseph’s expectations for his life were of promise. I’m sure he never thought that God would let him end up like he did.

He was thrown into a pit by his brothers, then taken to Egypt and sold into servitude. Eventually, he was framed for a crime he didn’t commit, and ended up in prison.

You’d think it would be a slap in the face for this dreamer.

But Chapter 39 of Genesis says some notable things about Joseph, throughout these events of his life:

“And his master saw that the Lord was with him, and that the Lord made all that he did to prosper in his hand. And Joseph found grace in his sight… and he made him overseer over his house, and over all that he had…and the Lord blessed the Egyptian’s house for Joseph’s sake…”

“But the Lord was with Joseph, and showed him mercy, and gave him favour…and the keeper of the prison committed to Joseph’s hand all the prisoners…”
“The keeper of the prison looked not to any thing that was under his hand; because the Lord was with him, and that which he did, the Lord made it to prosper.”

How did this happen? How did Joseph seem to bask in grace, favor and prosperity, despite the bondage he was in?

“The Lord was with Joseph.” But wasn’t the Lord also with me? Why was he blessed, while I felt abandoned?

Just as his brothers glared at Joseph—wearing his coat of many colors, a special gift from his doting father—we also could stare at him with amazement, and jealousy.

What makes him so special?

It’s true, that God had a divine plan for his life—with effects both generational, and eternal. So, are some people just more important to God? Is He “with” them, more than the rest of us?

There is a divine plan for each and every one of us. But it’s about how we choose to give up.

After Joseph was thrown into the pit, the Bible doesn’t reveal what went through his mind. But we can identify how he probably felt. As he listened to his brothers debate killing him, then selling him, he realized that they hated him.

How painful! We can imagine that he experienced the same “concrete wall” effect that I did.

I did a lot of thinking in my pit, and he certainly did, in his.

It was there in the pit, where Joseph was faced with where his life was apparently headed—and it was nothing like what he had dreamed of.

He had to give up, and give in to his circumstances. But he didn’t give in just because he was left with no other choice.

His choice to give in was an intentional decision. It’s the choice we all have, when we find ourselves in a pit.

It’s the choice to stand with God.

Despite extreme disappointment and uncertainty, Joseph chose to stand with God. In the pit, in the servitude of Egypt, and then in prison.

He stood with God.

How do we know he made this choice? Because the Word says that he prospered.

Psalm 1:1-3
Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly,
nor standeth in the way of sinners,
nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.
But his delight is in the law of the LORD;
and in his law doth he meditate day and night.
And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water,
that bringeth forth his fruit in his season;
his leaf also shall not wither;
and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.

The natural inclination for us, when we find ourselves in a pit, is to go into survival mode. Desperate for self-preservation, our thoughts become self-focused.

Anger, resentment, and self pity are what these thoughts render in our souls. Embracing ungodly thoughts leads to sinful attitudes and actions. It can become a spiral.

We tend to justify this by blaming our circumstances. We allow ourselves to become convinced that we are entitled to cave in, given our unpleasant situation. We promise ourselves that we will be that better person again—when the situation gets better.

But the moment we make that choice, we have denied God in favor of ourselves. We walk in ungodliness, stand in sin, and sit in scorn.

At this point, God has no choice but to patiently wait for us to come to the end of the process, and the end of ourselves. We become victims to our circumstances.

He never leaves or forsakes us—but because we aren’t standing with Him, He is not yet able to carry out his best Divine purpose for us. By our self-preservation, we make ourselves unavailable to Him.

But when we stand firm and planted in the ground of God’s truth, and use our energy and focus to draw from Him, we remain strong—and we prosper.

While in captivity, everything that Joseph did prospered. This is evidence that he was standing firm.

What exactly is this prosperity that Joseph experienced—and how can we experience that also?

Does prosperity mean that we get what we want in life?

When used to describe Joseph, and in Psalm 1 above, the Hebrew word for “prosper” and “prosperous” does not mean to get something, but means “to push forward.”

Joseph’s actions—done with the attitude of choosing to stand with God—pushed him forward, through his circumstances.

He was not ensnared or destroyed by his circumstances. He moved through them—propelled by the hand of God.

Think about one of those really long, moving walkways you see at large airports. You step on, and stand as it moves you through your surroundings. It gives you rest as it takes you to where you need to go.

Chapter 6 of Ephesians implores us to put on each essential piece of our spiritual armor, that we may “withstand the evil day.” After that, after having done all we can do, we are instructed to “stand.”

Not to cave in, but stand.

We are to stand—bound by truth, and with righteousness covering our heart.

We are to stand—prepared for actions which spread the gospel of peace.

We uphold our faith like a shield, deflecting ungodliness.

We wear our salvation like a helmet, protecting our thoughts.

And the Word of God is a sword in our hand.

Then we are “strong in the Lord, and in the power of His might.”

There is no need to preserve ourselves with human inclinations, because we are protected by the armor of God. As we stand with God in His strength, we are pushed forward through circumstances, until we come out the other side.

And when we do, we realize that God’s divine purposes were taking place all along—just not in the ways we expected.

As Joseph said regarding dreams, “Do not interpretations belong to God?”

His dreams did end up coming to pass, but God’s interpretation involved a long process, with extreme disappointment and heartache.

We have dreams for our lives, but God is sovereign over them. He has the authority to interpret them any way He desires.

Why is the interpretation so unbearably painful sometimes?

He wants that seed of faith within us to grow. Purpose birthed through pain means more to Him, because it increases our dependence on Him.

Does that sound mean? Look at what you are wearing.

Joseph wore his coat of many colors, from his doting father. If you read Genesis, you’ll see that his brothers stripped it off, before they threw him into the pit.

If you have made the decision to believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and have received His salvation, you are wearing a gift from your doting Father—your very own coat of many colors. You are clothed with His extravagant love and favor. You are a child of purpose and destiny.

And no person or circumstance can take that away from you.

Joseph knew this. Though the coat had been stripped from his body, his heart remained clothed in purpose and destiny.

Though he was in servitude and then in prison, Joseph was highly esteemed and promoted to a place of honor and authority. God purposed him to be there, to accomplish His divine plans.

Are you currently in your own pit of circumstances, far from where you ever dreamed you would be?

Are you in a prison of some kind, without hope or a future that you can see?

God needs you to give him everything—whatever you are, and wherever you are. He really does want to bring you into a higher place.

Not just to be free, but to be promoted into places of authority.

Not just to be strong in yourself, but strengthened and able to walk into His destiny for your life—in God, who makes you able.

But the choice will be yours.

Will you allow Him to push you through, past the pain of where you find yourself today?

Or, does God only see self-pity, and self-preservation?

Can you honor God with your trust to interpret your dreams—the way He has always seen them?

Giving up to stand with God gives Him permission—to move heaven and earth, and bring His glory upon you.

Have your dreams been broken, in your eyes? Remember: You are a child of destiny.

Know that your seed of faith is still alive within you. Allow it to grow. Draw strength from His Life.

Choose God over yourself. Ask Him to help you submit to this process, no matter how you feel.

Clothe your heart with your colorful coat of His love and favor. Put on your armor.

Stand with God—in your thoughts, words and actions.

Stand in strength, as you are pushed forward by the hand of God.

Trust that your circumstances are part of His plan.

I know, it’s hard. But can you give up—to gain all?

 

 

 

Lift Up Your Eyes—God’s Purpose Surrounds You