Even Now: Your Lowest Place is God’s Highest Purpose

I had covid last month.

I wondered if this might happen eventually. But I consoled my heart by telling myself that it would be “just like the flu.”

It wasn’t. It wasn’t like the flu, a cold, or anything I have ever experienced in my entire life. And I am beyond grateful that I have lived to tell about it.

Granted, the severity of my illness was influenced by the fact that I was already in the throes of dealing with another health issue when covid struck me. I was already weakened, had lost weight, and no doubt my immune system was compromised. That certainly didn’t help.

My husband was also sick with covid—but thankfully, was able to get a treatment right away, that helped tremendously within a few days. Since I didn’t qualify for the treatment, I fared quite a bit worse than he did.

My lungs were not involved (Thank You, Jesus!) But I suffered from debilitating weakness, dizziness and relentless, almost unbearable nausea. I even fainted. It dragged on for over two weeks. I was so weakened—physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

And of course, the devil was right there. And you know exactly what I mean, don’t you?

Satan grabs that opportunity to swagger up to us, and implant his thoughts into our minds. “Oh….look at how sick you are. Are you going to end up in the hospital? You might…in fact, you will. Could you even die?”

“Am I going to make it through this,” I asked my husband during a particularly low time. “Am I going to die?” My dear husband reassured me.

We both fought back spiritually, as much as we could—taking in the word, praise and worship, and quoting scripture—trying to keep our thoughts on God.

And yet—just as soon as those moments came, when there wasn’t any fight left in me—there was that devil again.

“You are going to die! In three days!”

Huh? Interesting that the liar mentioned “three days.”

My Lord and Savior, Christ Jesus, rose from death after three days in the grave.

In resurrection power.

“When Jesus heard that, he said, This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby.” (John 11:4)

A precious friend had prayed these words over me while I was sick. The same words that Jesus declared after hearing that Lazarus was sick. Grasping on to anything I could, I repeated them. “This sickness is not unto death! This sickness is not unto death!”

But what I had lost sight of, was the second part of this declaration. “That the Son of God might be glorified thereby.”

In the gospel of John, up until this point, Jesus spoke of glorifying only His Father. “And I seek not mine own glory: there is one that seeketh and judgeth.” (John 8:50) Jesus had performed many acts of healing, always pointing to the Father as His Source. In His humility, Jesus did not seek glory for Himself.

But this was the moment—His moment—where the Father would cause His glory to be manifested through Christ.

And belief—of all who believed in Him—would be taken to another level.

Jesus had a special relationship with Lazarus and his sisters, Mary and Martha. So naturally, everyone expected Him to high tail it over to Bethany, and heal Lazarus. But that isn’t what happened.

“Now Jesus loved Martha, and her sister, and Lazarus. When he had heard therefore that he was sick, he abode two days still in the same place where he was.” (John 11:5-6)

It seems like a contradiction. Jesus loved Lazarus…and so He waited? He didn’t rush to his side, and deliver him from the sickness. Or the suffering. Or the sorrow of his sisters, after he would finally die. No…he waited.

I had prayed and begged God daily throughout my illness to “please GOD make it all go away! Deliver me from this!” (poof!) But that moment would not come for me, either. “Why, God?”

As the days dragged on, I wondered. I worried. I determined not to lose one ounce of faith, and I didn’t. But man, it was hard.

I have enjoyed a sense of victory in the past few years of my walk. You can see that in my posts here. But in my very weakened state, I was no conqueror. Not even close.

All I could do was try to rest in Him, remember that Jesus overcame this world, and do my best to surrender to His Sovereign will for me and my life. I clung to Him—and to the fact that He loves me.

He loves me…and so He waited.

He waited while I suffered. He waited while the devil tormented me. He waited…inexplicably, yet lovingly.

And I waited—for Him to bring me through. Patiently—not always. But I had no choice.

Are you waiting for God? Are you wondering why He hasn’t come through for you yet?

Keep reading. Because He loves you, you see.

And He wants to bring your belief to another level. The level of a conqueror, in resurrection power.

“Then said Jesus unto them plainly, Lazarus is dead. And I am glad for your sakes that I was not there, to the intent ye may believe; nevertheless let us go unto him.” (John 11:14-15)

Jesus said, “I’m glad for your sake that I wasn’t there, so that you may believe.” And yet, He was saying this to His disciples, who were already believers in Him. What did He want them to believe—to see, realize and grasp on to?

Read verse 4 again above. “That the Son of God might be glorified thereby.” His glory. He wanted His believers to see, realize and grasp on to the realization of His glory.

I looked up the Greek word for “glory” in this passage, and it essentially means the dignity, nature, character and power of God, revealed in and through Christ.

It is through Christ Jesus that God reveals Himself to us. In wonderful, happy times, such as when we see a beautiful sunrise—but especially, in our sorrowful, suffering times.

Because—though He may wait—HE ALWAYS SHOWS UP.

“Then said Martha unto Jesus, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.

But I know, that even now, whatsoever thou wilt ask of God, God will give it thee. 

Jesus saith unto her, Thy brother shall rise again. Martha saith unto him, I know that he shall rise again in the resurrection at the last day.

Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die.

Believest thou this?

She saith unto him, Yea, Lord: I believe that thou art the Christ, the Son of God, which should come into the world.” (John 11:23-27)

This was the moment. Jesus’ moment—where God the Father would manifest His glory through Him. And this was also Martha’s moment.

Her face was still wet with tears. Her body was weak from grief. Her heart heavy with sorrow. Her mind swarming with thoughts of discouragement. And yes, disappointment in her Lord. Why had He not come sooner? Her brother would not have died if He has only come sooner.

But yet, she clung to her faith. She clung to her hope. She essentially said, “But I know that even now—even now—you have the power of God, my Lord.” And considering the context of this passage, we can safely assume that she knew the Lord had something for her, too—something far beyond her natural understanding.

“I AM the resurrection,” Jesus declared to her. This was her moment, where God was about to take her belief to another level. Where she would see the glory of God manifested through Jesus. Where she would fully realize WHO EXACTLY she was placing her faith and hope in. The Christ. The King. The conqueror over death, hell and the grave!

“Therefore doth my Father love me, because I lay down my life, that I might take it again. No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself.

I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This commandment have I received of my Father.” (John 17-18)

God—the All Powerful, All Knowing, Eternal God—revealed in and through the Glory of His Son, Christ Jesus. Through His life, and His power to lay it down on the cross. Through His death and His resurrection power, as He rose from the grave.

He IS the resurrection, and the Life, just as He said. His dignity, His character, and His nature—His Glory, the essence of who He is—is fully revealed through His resurrection power.

We can’t fully comprehend it. But it’s something we must take hold of. We must always grasp on to, cling to, and never let go of the realization of His Glory!

Because it’s ours.

“And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one:

I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me.” (John 17:22-23)

Did that sink in? Read it again.

Christ Jesus has given us His glory—the very same glory that the Father gave to Him! The glory of His dignity. His character. His nature. His almighty, unmatched resurrection power!

“For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus’ sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh.” (2 Corinthians 4:6-11)

We wait—and we die. We die as we suffer. We die as we sorrow. We die as we are challenged by satan and his lies.

We die as we are discouraged, and disappointed. We even die as we doubt.

And as we die, something miraculous happens. Just like the petals of a flower, our beauty, our glory—the old nature—falls off. Little by little. Day by day.

Until we have nothing left but that moment. That “even now” moment that Martha had.

“Even now, Lord. Even now.” The seal is on the tomb. To the world, it looks like a done deal. To my human eyes, it seems to be over.

“But even now—I know that You have something to give me. You have a plan for me, and for my life. I trust that You are working—even now.”

That is the moment where the resurrection power of Christ Jesus overtakes us, and reigns within us.

He conquered death, hell and the grave.

And now—as we cling to the very essence of who He is—His resurrection power conquers us.

And our belief is taken to another level.

That soaring eagle level, where no man or devil can even come near to approach. Where we spread our wings and ride on the currents of His Power. That faith and rest in—not only our Lord and Christ—but our Almighty Conqueror of All.

“Why, God?”

He answered that question.

So that the glory that the Father gave to Jesus—and Jesus gave to us—is revealed to a lost and dying world. So that they may know Him.

It’s because He loves us. He loved us enough to die for us.

And He loves us enough to allow us to die for Him.

Even now, friend. Even now. He always shows up, and He will. At just the right moment.

Through your experience in your trial, God has plans to use you.

Just hang on—and believe it.