Do you ever feel like your life is being wasted?
I struggle with this feeling sometimes.
There are many days where I feel like I can barely keep up with life. Some people say that, because they are much too busy. When I say that, I am barely keeping up with what I consider to be the basic things in life.
I suffer from a chronic illness in which fatigue is a hallmark symptom. Crashing, crushing fatigue. I have learned to manage it, but nothing makes it go away.
I manage it by cautiously limiting my activities to avoid draining my energy reserves. For years, I have only worked part time, and never more than three days in a row. I carefully plan the timing and frequency of household tasks, shopping and social commitments, to give myself space to rest.
Sometimes my symptoms will flare up, either because I wasn’t careful enough, or because of things beyond my control. When my symptoms flare up, fatigue hits me like a crashing wave. I have spent many days struggling to complete the simplest of tasks.
At times like this, I get sad. I wonder how I will ever accomplish anything significant in my life. So many days seem wasted.
And I guess—according to the world’s standards—some would agree that my life is being wasted.
Maybe you are someone who feels your life has been wasted—by illness, bad decisions, or some other circumstance. You are familiar with the disappointment, guilt and regret—the tears and the uncertainties.
But what is a wasted life, to God?
The book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible was written by a guy who literally had it all—and had done it all. Looking at his accomplishments—even through the modern lens of today—is mind boggling.
He was a powerful king, with immense wealth. He built enormous palaces. He planted expansive vineyards, gardens and orchards. He kept large herds of all sorts of livestock. He collected treasures of silver and gold, without measure. He delighted in the arts, entertainment and fine wine.
On top of everything else, he was blessed by God with great wisdom.
He was never lonely, and surrounded himself with women. He was admired and respected. People came from distant lands to meet him, gawk at his vast possessions, and listen to his words of wisdom.
Everything he wanted to do, he did. No problem.
Yet—astoundingly—he admits, “I hated life.”
He hated his life?
How could he hate what seems like such a magnificent life, full of beauty, accomplishments, wealth and enjoyment?
It’s because God opened his eyes to the truth. God gave him the wisdom to see life for what it really is.
He came to understand the futility of the actual, organic life span that each one of us is given. That no matter what—whether rich or poor, success or failure—each one of us is born, lives our short life, and dies.
Each and every one of us will die. And the vast majority of us are forgotten by the world, once we have left it.
He realized that none of his accomplishments would benefit him in the grave—and that none of his wealth would follow him. All would be left for others, whether deserving or not—to cherish or to squander.
He lamented over the importance and priority he had placed on everything he had worked so hard to gain. In light of his eventual death, it was all temporary, meaningless and without real purpose.
He called all of it “vanity”—in Hebrew, the word means something like “breath.”
Vanity blows through our lives, and then it’s gone.
There is a lot of talk nowadays about living a great life and how to be happy. There seems to be nothing wrong with this—but what did Jesus say about life?
Get ready for this.
“He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal.” (John 12:25)
It’s always a little disturbing to read these words. Is Jesus asking us to harbor a miserable, emotional feeling of hatred for our life in this world?
What he actually meant here is that we are to prefer our eternal life, and what it offers—over our natural life, and what it offers.
The life we prefer is the life that we choose. The life we reach for, and strive for—the life that we pin our hopes on.
It is fine and good to appreciate, enjoy and make the best of our natural life on this earth—after all, life is a gift from God. But He doesn’t want us to prefer it to our eternal life. Here is another disturbing thing that Jesus said about life:
“He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.” (Matthew 10:39)
Losing my life—for the sake of Christ? How do I do that?
A person could literally lose their physical life for the sake of Jesus Christ, in the case of martyrdom. But there is a figurative meaning to this also.
In his letter to the Philippians, Paul spoke of his former “confidence in the flesh,” and what he had considered great religious status and accomplishments in his life.
He went on to say,
“But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them as dung, that I may win Christ.” (Philippians 3:7-8)
The Greek word for “dung” here, means garbage that is thrown out to the dogs.
When something is thrown out, it means that the person has no use for it anymore. Everything Paul thought was important—in light of Jesus Christ—was of no use to him anymore.
Are you tearfully holding on to your wishes for the life experience you think you should have, with the possessions you want to have, and the accomplishments you want to achieve?
Maybe you should just throw it all away.
Because unless Jesus Christ owns it, it is a waste. Garbage.
Because no matter what great experiences, or possessions, or accomplishments in life—none of it will last.
“and what profit hath he that hath labored for the wind?” (Ecclesiastes 5:16b)
To find purpose in this life—through what is “vanity”—really is like chasing after the wind.
It swirls around us, taunting—as if to say, “Look at so-and-so here on social media—what a wonderful life they have—so full of promise. So much better than yours.”
It dares us to chase after it, and we set impossible expectations for ourselves. We strive for something that can never be attained—whether just out of reach, or miles away. We just can’t catch it.
Because it’s impossible to catch the wind.
It changes direction as quickly as the fickle expectations of society—whatever “they” say is desirable, or beautiful, or successful.
It blows with the gale force of self-importance, self-exaltation, self-confidence—and we feel it’s pressure—that we just aren’t good enough, unless we have attained it’s air of loftiness.
It leaves us frustrated, confused and disoriented—and it leaves a void in the heart that is just as empty as it was before. That is because the wind has no substance.
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1)
To know God is your substance—what fills the emptiness of your life. Jesus Christ is the only endless, enduring constant in your life. He is your meaning. He is your purpose.
Your purpose is to exist, in Him. To do His will. Whether it is walking on the moon, or lying in a hospital bed.
So, is your life really being wasted? The answer lies in what—or who—you choose to spend it on.
If Jesus Christ is your Savior and Lord, your life isn’t being wasted—it has been purchased.
“What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
It all comes down to ownership. If you are living your life for yourself, then you claim ownership of yourself—and you must be your own rewarder. But if Jesus now holds the title deed to your life—and you have willingly placed yourself into his careful, capable hands—then He must be your rewarder.
“But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.” (Hebrews 11:6)
Only God can know the great rewards that God holds in store for each of us who willingly exchange our “now”—this temporary moment called life—for the unimaginable glories He is yet to bring. Not yet even imagined by human hearts.
Can you throw the desires of your life away, for a life you can’t even imagine?
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